Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Stop These Tears

I've been crying for the past few days now. And it has nothing to do with Kelley losing the baby. It's worse than that now.

I've lost Kelley.

After my last post, I confronted Kelley about her finding my blog. I finally sat her down and explained everything to her: Slenderman, the proxies, Sam, even my past. I had no choice, seeing she read part of my blog. I had to tell her the truth. I also explained to her that I was only trying to protect her, thinking that the less she knew, the safer she would be. She said she believed me, but that she was still angry with me for it. Understandable, but now I knew that I had to watch her all the time. Now that she knew, her safety was completely gone.

I woke up Saturday morning to go and take a shower, and that's when I found her.

She was laying in the bathtub, a piece of broken glass on the floor, both of her wrists slit wide open. I ran and got my dad before he left for work, since he is an EMT, and I asked him to check her pulse. I was almost hyperventilating, or else I would have done it myself.  He said there was none. He called the ambulance to get her body.

She was DOA. They estimated her time of death to be between 3 and 4 in the morning. Cause: suicide.

I lost my baby, and now I lost my fiancee. What do I have left here for me? The only person I was trying to protect is gone. What's the point of staying here and fighting? What's the point of running? No matter what we do, we lose. It's either we let Him take us, or we remove ourselves. The latter is certainly looking mighty tempting now.

And now, because of my failures, I have decided to relinquish my titles. I don't deserve to lead the Isabel Initiative or the Keeper Alliance. I guess that just leaves me as Lucien Drage.

Not even that sounds like a good title anymore.


  1. god, Lucien, i'm so sorry. it's not even close to adequate, but i am.

  2. Kay, I was barely able to stop crying and call Kelley's mother and tell her what happened. She thinks the suicide was simply because of losing her baby. I don't have the heart to tell her about everything else, that it was all because of me.