Monday, May 9, 2011

Tuesday Night

That's when I'm going to do it.

That's when I am finally going to tell Donnie the truth.

He has every right to know. He and his father before him worked on those missing persons' cases. Saved some children, lost others. Donnie has even seen Him a few times, once from a distance, and once up close. He's seen the violence and gore that has happened because of Him. And now, with the appearance of the FBI in my town, Fisk's direct order to take over Donnie's cases, and Diana's "suicide," it's only a matter of time before they come after me.

Kay is already in a heap of trouble with everything she's gone through: psychotic ex proxy, memory loss, hospitalization, Slenderman himself, etc... She already has gone through more than enough. I can't tell my other sister or my parents, there is no need to get them involved with everything. I have been able to cover up what's happened to Kay to the family, so that nobody gets suspicious. I've been able to cover my own tracks with my family and my girlfriend, but I don't know how long I'll be able to keep it up.

I have a lot on my plate as well. My own proxies that I have fought, The Count and this mysterious game of his, my own lost memories, Slenderman himself, the proxy leaving videos for me to figure out. I know they say that in this crazy game, it's best to do it on your own, not drag anybody else into it. However, I think I may need some help. I can't do this alone anymore.

Donnie may be the best help I can get. He's a cop, so he has knowledge of the law, know-how of weapons, and both book and street smarts. Together, we may be able to figure some things out. Who knows, maybe even help prevent some more deaths of those who are fighting.

Vivi and Chester, they managed to get out, thanks to Redlight's deal. However, we've seen what's happened in the past with others who were given the same deal. I worry for them.

Jeff.........I mean Ritchie, or whoever he was. The Keeper Alliance. The Isabel Initiative. I won't let those die with him.

Cheska, if she is in fact still out there, may not be there for the saving now. She may just be another enemy.

Tony, Cathy, and Cynthia. Cynthia is becoming one of Redlight's minions. She needs to be saved. Tony and Cathy are doing all they can, but I feel like I can help too.

Celeste. She has gotten herself hospitalized now too. I couldn't do anything to save her. Zeke, you better take care of her while you're near her.

Zeke himself has gone through so much pain and loss. But he has survived on his own. He has that instinct to survive. But sometimes, that's not enough.

Darby. He went down fighting. His death will not be for nothing.

Storm, aka Katherine. Started getting close to her, and now she's one of them.

Sammie. Saved her once, but it wasn't enough. Another person I got close to who is in trouble.

Reach. Another fallen warrior. Whether his memories were real or falsified, he did everything he could.

Ava, tainted by evil, yet still trying to fight. I will lend whatever support I can to help your child.

M. Makes a comment here and there, but how do we know he is truly ok?

Damien. Another victim who died before his time.

James, aka Stumblr, has been killed as well. Where the hell was Spender to watch over him?

Robert Sage. Seems he is going crazy, and knows his time is near, but will not go out without a fight.

I feel so helpless out here. I think I need to leave here soon. I have held my own ground well enough in New Jersey, but there are so many others out there who need help. Whether I know them, have heard about them, simply talked to them through their adventures, or I haven't even met them yet. There are people that need help in some shape or form. I can't do that from here.

Damn, 4:20 in the morning, look at all the ranting I've done. And I need to be at work in less than 3 hours. I guess I started typing this because it's been weighing on my mind for awhile: the decision to stay or leave.

But I can't leave. I can't just up and disappear on my girlfriend, and it's not like she would be able to come with me. I'm 26. I can leave home when I want to. She is only 19. She has so much going on with herself at this young an age that she needs to deal with. I can't just say "Hey, let's up and travel for a while." I can't take her away from her family, her life.

So much to think about, so much to decide.

Maybe I can take the money I won in Atlantic City and send it to some of the other fighters: allow them a chance to get away and try to find at least some temporary safety.

Grrr, stop ranting. I need to try and get some kind of rest. I guess I shall post again either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, after I've told Donnie the truth and see what he says about it.

-Lucien Drage
Leader of the Isabel Initiative and the Keeper Alliance
Fighter for the Cause
Survivor of The Threat
Defender of the Scared
Friend of the Free-willed
Brother to All

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