Why did I do this? What have I become? Kelley, Brittany, I didn't mean for me to get like this. I only thought I was helping you. I thought I was avenging you, avenging my loss.

But I became just as bad as any one of them.

It's probably best I'm trapped in this village.

Now I'll never hurt another soul again.

The sun begins to rise, and another day begins. Still cannot leave my surrounds, so better make the best of my eternity in the village.

And what better way to do that than by killing those who have tortured my family, my friends, and the other fighters and runners out there?

The more I kill, the less we deal with.

The more I kill, the more I enjoy it. The more the blood is spilled, the more I smile.

Oh how I love the blood all over my hands. None of my weapons ever tasted the ruby water that drowns them before. Now they have, and they just want more.

And so do I.

And if I finally make it out of here, there is only one thing left to do.

And what is that, you ask? Well, there is only one proxy out there now that deserves my attention, to feel my sword run through his body, to enjoy the escape of death for his crimes.

You will get yours...

Morningstar


Lucien: 41
Proxies: 1

The sun rose this morning. It was red, like blood. Like the blood on me.

On my hands, on my clothes, on my sword, on my knives.

I don't want to wash it off anymore. In fact, I want more of it.

The sight, the smell, the feel, the taste of the blood. Even the sound of it splattering on the ground. All of it.

It's so delightful, so fulfilling.

Now I know why Darby enjoyed what he did.


As of today, the score is:
Lucien: 23
Proxies: 1

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit

I gotta get the blood off

It won't wash off my hands

It won't wash off my clothes

The blood won't go away

Please get rid of the blood

What have I done?

The Village

And no, I don't mean that terrible movie that came out years ago.

Brittany and I headed towards where we saw the glinting in the distance. When we finally reached it, I could not believe me eyes.

There was a village, smack dab inside of the Black Forest. It looked like one of those old pilgrim villages from the 17th century. The buildings were all made of wood, there was a town square, a church, everything you could think of. We started walking through it a little bit, and all of a sudden, it hit me. This village, or at least the church, looked very familiar, and I realized why, as well as why all the trees in the forest looked familiar as well.

4am

The church and the trees are the exact same from the dream I had in that entry. I felt my entire body turn white. I turned over to Brittany, and she looked scared as well. "I've been here before," she said, "in a dream several months ago. I was in the church talking to somebody when I was attacked by Him." I responded with more of a sickening reaction. "Oh, shit!" I exclaimed. "I had that dream too, where I was talking to somebody in the church and she was attacked."

We realized we both had the same dream and were the ones talking to each other. Suddenly, the doors to the church opened and a large group of people started walking out. All of them were wearing masks. This definitely was the proxy village from my dream. It makes sense that it would be in the Black Forest.

We weren't sure exactly what do to from here, so we decided to try and head back out the way we came, maybe find some semblence of a safe civilization.

We headed out, and it felt like we were walking forever. Finally, we saw something in the distance and ran towards it.

Big mistake. It was the proxy village again. Somehow we went in a full circle and ended up back where we came. No idea how this happened, so we tried again. Same result. No matter how many times we left the village, we kept coming right back to it. A case of a Slendy mind-screw? Most likely. No idea how we are getting out of here, but we will find a way.

Somehow...

The Black Forest

Lucien back here, and not in the best shape.

Before taking the train, we stopped off in a few shops just outside of Frankfurt. Found a quaint little shop that sold a nice selection of weapons. Bought myself a new sword-cane and a few throwing knives. For safety, of course.

Brittany and I have been in the Black Forest since Tuesday. It's strange, we still get internet service in here. But it's not really helping us at all.

We've been wandering in here, the food supply we brought in is getting low. For some reason, we can't access any maps or GPS or anything on the internet, and we can't remember the path we took to get in here. Just great, we're lost in a maze of creepy looking trees.

Yet, these trees seem very familiar to me. Not like I've seen them in pictures or anything. More like, I've walked past them or something. Maybe a dream or something, I don't know.

Haven't been sleeping right these past few nights either. Between the trees, the low food, and being lost, I guess you can say I'm scared of something coming out at us. Whether it's an animal, proxy, or Him, if anything comes after us out here, chances are that even with my weapons, I probably don't have the strength to really fend anything off.

The sun is starting to come up, and I think I see something glinting between the trees, maybe a mile or so ahead of us. Hopefully, this is where The Count was leading me.

Lucien Drage, out.

Germany

Hey guys, it's Brittany here. Lucien is sleeping right now in the bed of our hotel room. He looks so cute while he's sleeping. Anyway, he gave me the information to his blog so I could log in and update you.

We got to Frankfurt International Airport early on Saturday, and we've spent the past couple of days just doing a little bit of sightseeing. He's been so exhausted, though. I'm guessing it's because he's never been on a plane before and never experienced jetlag.

We're gonna do some more sightseeing today, and then tomorrow, we're taking a train to Baden-Württemberg, the German state where The Black Forest is located.

I called my dad last night to check up on Will (my son). He's doing well, though he's missing me. I've never been more than a day away from him. I miss the little guy too. I can't wait til we can go home and see him again. That's right, I said WE.

Lucien and I had a conversation last night about what was going to happen when we were done here in Germany. He said he was going to finish looking for The Count, and hope that he doesn't get killed by anybody coming after him. I told him I just wanted to go home to my son. He said he'd love to join me, but doesn't want to put me in any danger. I told him after everything I went through with my ex-husband, danger didn't bother me anymore.

We both began talking about the rough situations we had with our exes, and he even started crying when he brought up Kelley. It really must be hard when your unborn child is killed in front of your eyes, and then the person you love kills themself. At this point, we were holding each other in the bed, just cuddling. I looked at him after and I asked him if he wanted to come home with me when this was done. I admitted that I never stopped caring about him after we ended things, and he said he felt the same way. Its just that a long distance relationship was difficult for both of us.

Ultimately, I told him I still loved him and said I wanted him to come with me, to be a father to Will. He said he would love to. He just hopes that he'll never bring any danger to either of us. So now, both of us are gonna get what we want: I'm going to get a father for my son, and he's gonna get a loving family of his own.

Shit Has Hit The Fan...

This is what happens when I leave home and can't help my family anymore. One of those sick proxy bastards launches an attack on my sister, and creates a piece of emotional damage that she possibly won't be able to handle. And I can't return there, because I guarantee that Lobo and Fitzsimmons (if they survived the hurricane) would expect me to go back there and help her. Either I stay away and keep myself safe, but ignore what's happening to my sister, or I return to help her and risk both of us being taken by the FBI.

And on top of that, The Count commented on my last post with new directional coordinates for me to travel to, and I'm unsure if he is in a sound state of mind based on that. I searched up the coordinates that he left in the comment, and it is somewhere I've only heard others talk about and have been afraid to travel to myself.

The Count wants me to travel to The Black Forest in Germany.

Brittany reminded me of the early post from Noah in the vlog Tribe Twelve, the interview he had with his grandfather. Something is in those woods that kills people. It may be a base of operations for Him, it may simply be a place he lurks due to all the trees. There must be a reason that The Count wants me to go there, but I can't think of any. He's been helping me all this time, why send me to a place that will most likely kill me?

Still, the FBI would be crazy to chase me there, leaving me with just Him to deal with. I'd rather have only one crazy thing coming after me than multiple ones.

I talked to Brittany about this last night, and although she is nervous about it, she agrees.

We are on our way to the airport now. We are heading to Germany.

Lucien Drage, out.

Left Again

So, the past week was definitely an interesting one.

Monday, August 29th, I ended up down in Georgia. This is where the information Dr. Cairo gave me said I would find Lucien Drage's family (it still feels weird saying that name without referring to myself). Before I went to find them, I hit up an old friend of mine that lived a few towns over. An ex girlfriend of mine, Brittany. We dated long distance for about 6 months before I started going out with Kelley.

I rang her doorbell, and she was surprised to see me. We had only met one time in person, and only really chatted online through Skype and such afterwards. This was our first time meeting, just the two of us. It was the happiest moment I had in a while. She asked me what I was doing, and I told her I was on vacation. She pulled me inside the house, closed and locked the doors.

Brittany: You don't have to pull these games, Lucien. I've been following your blog, somewhat. After what happened to Kelley, I refused to read, not wanting to see how hurt you were.
Me: Well, put it this was: I've got the faceless wonder after me, the psycho ex, the FBI, and I'm on a goose chase to find the family of somebody with the same name as me. That pretty much sums it up.
B: You know, I actually know of the family, the Drages. Very quiet, keep to themselves. Even when they go out in public, never talk to anybody.
Me: You've seen them? Which family members?
B: The parents died a few years ago. One of their daughters married and moved away that same year. The other daughter still lives in that house, along with her two children.
Me: Well, one daughter is still there. That's more than enough for me. I need to talk to her.
B: I'll take you over there tomorrow. Tonight, we celebrate. It's been over a year since we Skyped, over 2 since we first met. This is definitely cause for a fun night.

And by fun night, Brittany meant we would watch Harry Potter with her five year old son, followed by Mario Kart. For the first time since I proposed to Kelley, I was actually smiling. We had such a great time. That night, I fell asleep in a real bed. Of course, it was the same bed as Brittany (nothing happened). We spent most of the night talking until we both fell asleep in each other's arms. I feel a little guilty for even doing that after what happened with Kelley.

The next day, Brittany drove me out to the Drage residence. She left to go check on her son. I told her I would call once I was finished. I walked up the steps to the old house. Seemed kinda creepy. As I was about to ring the doorbell, the door opened up. An older woman answered, but I was in a state of shock. Except for her looking older, she reminded me exactly of my sister Kay.

Woman: Lucien. I expected you to show up one of these days.
Me: How do you know my...
Woman: You look just like my brother, before he was murdered.
Me: But the doctors said that...
Woman: I know what they said. What do they know? You and I are both smarter. We know who killed him. Now get your ass inside before anybody spots you.

So I get inside. The woman introduces herself as Kendall (funny, same first initial as Kay). She tells me that her parents were murdered in the same way, and that her sister left for fear of the same thing happening to her. The next thing she told me was very intriguing.

K: I used to be one of them, you know.
Me: One of what?
K: I was one of his servants.
Me: What??? (I stood up and tried to hurry to the door)
K: Wait! I'm not anymore! I managed to beat him!
Me: (hesitant, but I stay) Beat him? How? Most proxies only escape his grasp by being killed.
K: There is another way, but it doesn't work for everybody.
Me: And how is that?
K: You know that Maryland girl, Celeste?
Me: Yeah, what about her?
K: She had it right. That silly idea about a constant? It can work.

She went on to explain that her constant was actually a dagger. It was given to her by Lucien before he was committed to the hospital. However, she said she wanted me to have it. When I asked her why, she said it would do me better than it did her. She went off to fetch it, and I called Brittany to tell her that I was just about done there.

When Kendall came back she handed me a black box. Inside, she said was the dagger. She made me promise to keep it safe and never lose it.

K: You know, you really do look exactly like Lucien. Maybe you are him reborn, here to avenge your own death, or to help others escape the fate you once had.
Me: With everything we've dealt with, I would not be surprised by that. Thank you, Kendall.

I left the house and saw Brittany's car pull up. As I walked towards it, I heard an ear-piercing scream come from behind me. I turned back to the house, and I see Kendall's body being shoved out the window. Attached to her throat is a black tentacle. I swiftly get into Brittany's car and tell her to drive. She speeds on out of there and away from that house.

I stayed with Brittany for another day, and I told her that I had to leave. I couldn't endanger her anymore than I already had. I didn't know where I was going from there, but I had to leave before something hurt her. That's when she said something that both made me happy and scared.

She said she wanted to go with me.

She told me I couldn't argue with her. We were gonna leave her son with her father, she was gonna come with me and help me find a constant of my own, and perhaps find a way to either defeat this monster, or at least find The Count.

So now, we are on the road, Brittany and I.

I have company again, and for who knows how long, I'm happy again.

Lucien Drage, out.