Well, this weekend certainly was long and interesting. Now that I'm home, I'm able to catch up on all my blogs. My phone died on me this weekend, even though I fully charged it, so I couldn't even call Kay and ask her for any updates. I was crying almost all weekend when nobody was around, for fear of Ava. But I got home tonight, checked my blogs and saw the first true good thing in awhile.
Ava survived. She is alive.
I started crying again when I wrote that. She's a tough little cookie, she is, and I am so happy that she is safe. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for Reach at this point. Alive or dead, what he did was such a noble sacrifice for Ava, and no matter what happened, in my eyes, he regained his humanity right there. Reach, I pray you are alive, for Ava's sake.
Darby also decided to return to us. He has said he will not abandon us while we are still dealing with our enemy. Thank you, my friend. And I cannot wait for when you make our way out here. The good times we shall have.
Cathy is doing alright, though she's being led from place to place in an attempt to find and save her daughter. I wish you luck, and if there is anything that I can do on my part here, please let me know.
Haven't really heard much from Holly and Storm's end, so I am hoping they are safe. Sammie's been having some interesting dreams, but she is still safe.
Jeff and Cheska are over in Germany now, trying to get more info on Der Ritter. Wishing them the best of luck and safety as well.
As for my own updates, outside of crying and my phone dying.
I did see Him again, Saturday night when getting out of work.
But He didn't attack me.
He just stood there, in the parking lot of my job. Staring at me. Well, as best as He could, considering He has no eyes. One arm was a normal looking arm, the other was a tentacle. He was simply waving it about in the air. Not hitting anybody or anything. Just kinda letting it flap in the wind.
Almost like He was taunting me to come after Him again. I am not making that same mistake right now. I'm not squaring off with Him until I can find another way to hurt Him.
I had a slight case of memory loss this weekend. The good old fashioned slender-sickness hits again, huh?
I slept over my girlfriend's Saturday night. I still haven't told her, she doesn't need to know yet. It was about 3am that we finally went to sleep. She said she woke up at about 6, and I wasn't in the bed. She walked through the house and couldn't find me. She opened the door and looked outside, and she saw me just sitting on my car, staring up into the sky. She thought that I just needed time to think and let me be. I "woke up" at around 10am, back in her bed.
So, since my little fight, I have been coughing and now the memory loss.
So, what? Am I going to become a proxy now? Am I going to be stuck fighting for the tentacled mass of shit that plagues our lives? Am I going to end up coming after the people I care about, just because He asks me to?
No. I won't allow it. I know I'm not exactly the most stable of minds, and I know I'm not the most physically strong person. I'm nowhere near as strong or smart or stable or helpful as some of you out there: Kay, Jeff & Cheska, Robert, Zeke, Celeste, Ava, Reach, Thage, Darby, so many others to list.
But I can't leave you all behind. Not while I'm still alive and can do something to fight back, to help you all out. You all keep me sane in this, and holding onto you all, I think I may survive.
Forget that book in my dreams about The Guardian.
I choose my own title now. I choose my role in this fight. I choose my own destiny.
Member of the Isabel Initiative
Fighter for the Cause
Survivor of The Threat
Defender of the Scared
Friend of the Free-willed
Brother to All